Showing posts with label Shit Happens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shit Happens. Show all posts

Monday, 30 June 2008

5 DAYS

So I haven't written on here in so many days and it's really bothering the heck outta me, how my interest is slowly waning with this blog. I find writing for it is becoming too much of an obligation, what with fuckin shit like Fiction Friday and Song of the Week and all that bull crap. Which is why I won't be on here much longer. Plus the pink and my big ole face is starting to get to me, not to mention the fact that I foolishly signed up for a shitty ass ad on my blog. Yeah, it's all highly unfunnable now. I'm going for something more simple the next time around, black and white and the grey areas of my mind, and I wouldn't have to write a god damned thing everyday if I didn't want to. Hear hear. I'll let you know when that's happening of course, because I still love you.

And like...I'm dying to get my hands on the skull-printed trunk that Madonna was carrying around in Desperately Seeking Susan? I CAN'T FIND A PICTURE FOR YOU FOR NOTHING THOUGH?! It's pissing me off. That would've been a great post. Regardless, I am making my own. very. soon.

But in the mean time, I've gotten this classic Blue Oyster Cult song re-stuck in my head. I can't believe it took getting sandwiched between two heavily scented Filipina ladies, squawking on the bus ride home, sitting an hour and a half in traffic, to remember how amazing this song is. So I thought I'd share it with you before I head off to my last day at the VIVA office (yeah, I haven't been posting about that either because there really is nothing worth writing about. It's me gathering my points. ha).

SO, BLUE OYSTER CULT!!!!


Skip ahead to 2:30 for one of my alltime favourite guitar solos. I'm no expert at guitar solos but I know what I like in my rock. And SOMEhow, if I were a guitar genius, that would've been exactly what I would've fingered. I've heard my fair share of epic runs, but the recorded version of that one, my friend, is bliss. Short and sweet.

Friday, 6 June 2008

DIARY OF AN INTERN: DAYS 3 & 4

It's been a really busy week. By the time I got home yesterday and the day before from work, it was quite late and I was quite tired so I have not been posting about my experiences at the Viva office on the exact days. Hence, this bursting weekend post.


Day 3

Okay so Day 3 wasn't particularly exciting. I was told to do extensive research on some articles that could be possible hooks for the features and spreads they planned to produce in the next issue. So basically, I spent the day slurping a take-away Pina Colada from TGIF next door and browsing story-hoarding websites like Digg, Fark, and Pretty Social (a relatively new website where women can 'share and discuss stories from around the web'). For the record, since I love the guy, I found out about the last website from Joe, which means, he made my job at the office even easier. Millefois Merci.


As a result of all that internet research, I stumbled upon my favourite story of the lot: Isolated Tribe Spotted in Brazil. Beautiful. I have a thing for tribes, especially after thoroughly indulging in 'Apocalypto' three times. So great that they're still out there today. It's so fascinating seeing them protect themselves with their bows and arrows from the camera in its helicopter above. Most beautiful thing I've read all week; along with Amy Tan's novel 'Saving Fish From Drowning', which I finished last night, which of course you MUST read, and which is actually quite focused on a Burmese tribe called the Karen tribe.

Anyway, this what I stupidly wore to work that day as I braved the excruciating heat on the way to work. All black.



DAY 4

Apart from the events that happened between 7:30pm and 2am yesterday, I had a great day. Allow me to briefly sum up those unfortunate events before going on about the activities that were internship-related. Finding my way home from a different location other than the usual Viva office (as the photoshoot was elsewhere) resulted in:

me searching for a nearby bus stop which wasn't nearby and had me walking up and down several highways like a prostitute (which some people slowed thinking I was), finding one, figuring out which bus from there would take me to my destination, waiting an hour and a half for a bus to actually even stop for me as they were all packed with workers, finally getting one an hour and a half later, arriving at the bus terminal for the express to Abu Dhabi and finding that there were no more for the evening, calling my dad from a party to tell him I would be spending the night in a nearby bush if he didn't come for me, arranging to meet him just outside the city, getting to the planned location (Dubai Marina) and discovering that the area was so newly constructed that there were no road signs or street names yet, stumbling around in painful shoes looking for a familiar building to stand and wait at, finding out my dad was still an hour away and had no idea where I was, bursting into tears from all the wandering, the crippled feet, the seclusion, the heat, the parched throat, finding a security guard outside a place called La Riviera Towers who said he would talk to my dad, my dad telling me after I was given the phone back that he had no idea what the guy was talking about, my phone beeping saying the battery was low, being fed water and tissues by the guard who allowed me to sit in the blissfully air-conditioned lobby to wait, then standing out on the highway with him to wave at my dad's car as he flew by then turned around and collected me. Yes, we gave him a bloody good tip. I got home at 4am and thanked Allah, God, Buddha and Mother Lakshmi that it was the weekend and I didn't have to get up an hour later for work again.

PHEW! Now the photoshoot! Yes, I went on my first fashion photoshoot (photos posted here) with Viva, which was located at a newly opened club called Alpha, which is part of Le Meridien Hotel Dubai. All clubs and restaurants serving alcohol have to be situated at a hotel in the U.A.E. Alcohol can barely be obtained elsewhere. They don't sell it at supermarkets or anything. So people make a big deal about going for 'booze runs' (which the photographer informed everyone she was going on this weekend) and my dad, as he's a pilot, usually just stocks up when coming through Duty Free.

Anyway, so I helped out the Fashion and Beauty editor Chee, and her assistant Gaby by organizing the clothes, shoes and accessories for the shoot. There was a huge crisis when the steamer refused to work and we had to go ask to borrow an iron and ironing board from the hotel staff. The first one they sent us didn't work, so we had to go back and request another, which took nearly half an hour to come, and tested it out in a nearby outlet in the vast lobby; with the hotel's guests brunching, bozing and smoking eyeing us with amused expressions.

The whole organizing an iron and ironing board ordeal took nearly an hour; the reason being that the immigrant workers who come to this country and apply for jobs barely even know what the job entails or how to do it. They're just grabbing what they can, and fast. Once they are given orders, they follow them mechanically. Anything outside of what they are ordered to do, they know absolutely nothing about. This is also the reason I spent so much time getting more and more lost yesterday evening. Not even the bus drivers knew about the correct buses or directions I should take, around this city they have been working in for quite some time, I imagine. This is also why once when I jumped in a taxi and asked some advice about where a particular building might be on a particular street, the driver (who was hired to drive) barely knew english, could not understand what I wanted him to do and told me 'Cannot showing me where? I'm sorry, no,' opening the door for me to get out.

So what happened when we approached the front desk about the iron TWICE was we were faced with a tiny Indian man, who merely looked at us with bulging eyes, then looked down at the ground racking his brain and muttering 'what to do? what to do?' We could see the doom in his eyes as he thought about impatient Gaby seeking out the manager to complain about him, and him getting fired as a result. Anyway, eventually he talked to someone, and they talked to someone, and so forth, and we received a new iron. All was well.

The photoshoot featured real everyday women with different body types, showing which clothes flattered their body types most. I was the first person to show up at Alpha, then the photographer Candy, next. She was a lanky Australian woman with fried bleached ringlets and thick black glasses.
"Are you the first model today?"
"Oh no, no, no, " I stammered, flattered, staring at her concerning lack of breasts printed through her Karl Lagerfeld tank top. "I'm just the intern. The team's all on their way."

Of all the cool people I met that day, Candy was the most exciting. In fact, I might be harbouring a small girl crush. She had 6 tattooes, blasted Sheryl Crow and Bob Marley songs through her Mac, her butt-crack peek-a-booed over her briefs and baggy surfer jeans when she stooped and crouched and jumped about excitedly to take pictures, and she wasn't at ALL pretty. Actually, when she took off her glasses, she looked the way Carrie Bradshaw might look if she wore absolutely no make-up and hadn't slept in several days. In other words, she wasn't too ugly either. On the breaks in between, she sat reading a book about 'thinking big' while lounging on one of the club's longue chaises. She rolled and smoked copious amounts of brown-papered cigarettes.
"They're licorice flavoured," she told me.

Although we were served an unlimited amount of drinks by one of the bar staff they had provided us with, she asked several times for the only thing they didn't serve; coffee. They diligently trekked up to the hotel to get it for her. And in between tiny porcelain cups of those, she chugged Red Bull, and yet remained pleasantly aware of her surroundings and not maniacally buzzed. I marvelled. She also called me over once and to my surprise (I shouldn't have been surprised. She was satisfyingly crazy), she asked me to help her pick out a model of Jeep Wrangler on her laptop. She was thinking of buying a new car this week. We chose this.

The make-up artist was also quite talented, and the only one who scarfed down as much of the meditarranean food that I ordered for everyone as me. We chatted quite a lot. She gave some of the staff, who were going out afterwards, a new face for the evening. Chee, the fashion director, asked the Plus Size girl they used for the shoot to bring along 6 gift bags to thank all the models for taking part, as she worked at some cosmetics department or other. But the girl brought too many bags, so Chee handed me one. So happy was I for this bag containing the latest DKNY mini roll-on perfume, DKNY shower gel, a mini London Fashion Week make-up set and Sean John's latest fragrance for women called Unforgiveable. I'm usually quite picky with scents, but everything in there smelt FANTASTIC! And they were no longer mine anyway. I knew exactly what I had to do. I presented the pretty gift bag reading 'Unforgiveable' to my mother this morning, asking her to forgive me for forgetting her birthday, which was a few weeks ago. She left the house a few minutes ago, the roll-on perfume tucked neatly into her clutch bag.

Tuesday, 13 May 2008

AWOL-ness

Hi.
Um...
Been a while, I know. Truth is, I have nothing to talk about really. I've been flat-hunting for September which is proving fruitless and it's too hot around here these days to do anything but lounge and gaze. So I've been lounging and gazing; with the occasional movie (watched a documentary on Metal, The Jane Austen Book Club and American Beauty) and the occasional book (am reading The Inheritance of Loss and The Snows of Kilimanjaro). There might have also been some absynthe, tequila with the worm at the bottom, menthol cigarettes, karaoke and regrets. Might have...

Ugh. I hate my life. Seriously.

Also, these shoes suck. They ate my feet off. FUCKERRSSS!!!

Sunday, 4 May 2008

LIFE IS A SERIES OF SIGHS

AWWWW I miss fights with my ex-boyfriend, as crushing as they were in media res. But the make-up... everything was worth it.

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

IT'S NOT YOUR DAY, IT'S MINE! GIVE IT BACK!

Wow. I'm so sick that I, the drunkard master, am contemplating not drinking my celebratory bottle of Blossom Hill white wine in salute to the end of a successful but trying 2nd year. One more to go towards poverty, tequila and dismay.

Managed a little sake and tiger beer with lunch at Wagamama's today with friends but I was really dead set on the evening's alcoholic proceedings. I think, as my career is soon about to start as a writer, I will make it a ritual to drink like...a bottle of Moet or something everytime I complete a piece. Awesome. Actually, according to one of the last lectures I had for the year I probably won't have near enough money to live in a cupboard (making £6000 a year haha). But if worse comes to worse, I can probably settle for Rubbing Alcohol , or Listerene...Nyquil...and all others mentioned there as my congratulatory refreshment.

I'M SO SICK!

It might be some sort of payback . The 29th of April...My ex-boyfriend's birthday; the one I didn't give up my virginity to, who was cheating on me, and two others, simultaneously, from the start, everything, and more. Have a Herpes Birthday, Cock Sucker! And no, I won't tell my British friends about your metal/punk band because THAT might give you a modicum of exposure.

FUCKING SICK LIKE A STRAY DOG IN THE RAIN!

Fuck it. I'm drinking that goddamned wine. No reason to feel well tomorrow as I'm now free for 5 months. And when I'm done feeling ill, I'll visit that moron in Trinidad this summer and whack him upside the head with his drumsticks. Fucker.
Okay...no, I won't drink it. *sigh* I'll drug up tonight, get a coke from the vending machine and sausage roll myself into my blankets with the O.C. Season 4. It'll taste better over the weekend. Probably not.

THIS POST IS SO RANDOM....I'm considering deleting it.

OH YA! You guys should send me your prose and poetry and rants and letters and prayers and anything you've written. I just might decide to feature it on Fiction Friday! (thelonelylondoner@yahoo.com). GO FOR IT! Nothing to lose.

Can't believe I just added that on the end of this random ass post...


Wednesday, 23 April 2008

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I.AM.SUCH.AN.UBER.KLUTZ!

...to see Heartsrevolution and there was Lo, sitting in a floor corner on her laptop, basking in her rave pink glow. And there was I, sort of peeing my pants (she's so preettttyyy). And there was the sequined loudspeaker. uh huh. Firece. After a couple beers and vodka and redbull I whine to my cousin Becks about coming with me to meet her. So we go. And we took a picture, which came out like so...
AND THEN I was like, "So, what time are you guys going on?"
Lo looks at me all forlorn (which, by the way, means 'expressive of hopelessness- thought you oughta know and would find that funny), and she goes, "We already did..."
I REPEAT. I. AM. AN. UBER. KLUTZ. SQUARED!
I thought nothing gets going 'til after 10pm in this country?! Fucking gutted, I tell you. But she said she would put me and my cousin Becks on the guestlist for Moshi Moshi Night on Thursday (their last UK gig for now so don't screw it up!)
"Yeah, just message me on MySpace and I'll put you on the list."
Yeah. Didn't have a Myspace. But NOW I do. That's all I'm sayin'.
So Lo, if you read this, above are my yellow shoes in greeting that you said you liked (£12 from Peacocks), welcome to my blog and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PUT ME AND BECKS ON THE GUESTLIST. WE LOVE YOU!
The evening was still salvaged though. I realised I have severe musical feelings for the last band of the night (and the only one I saw *fuckin uberklutz...*) Slagsmalsklubben. Yeah, that's Swedish for Fucking Awesome. Not really. But please check them out. LOL That lead singer was so drunk that he could barely string together a sentence in his own native tongue, and, might I add, put up three fingers to say they were playing one of their songs for the 4th time ever. Salvaged only by the fact that he dragged a 4th finger up a few seconds later. Anyway, I can't believe how much raw energy one can exude from pressing a bunch of nobs. Fuck rock guitarists. This is the new sexy.
AND WELL, these guys were just amusing after one too many vodka and redbulls. I think the girl was trying to tell us all night that she was majoring in Ballet. And the guy looked scarily like Naveen Andrews dressed as Pinnochio. Anyway, I SO have an important lecture right now. TOODLES!








Saturday, 19 April 2008

VAI A FAVA

I'm not happy. Leave me alone. Go read my blogroll instead. Start here. She's Fi. She's my friend.

Friday, 11 April 2008

LET'S TALK ABOUT DEATH

Um. My cousin just called me from Trinidad and told me that my friend's mother just died. She committed suicide. She used to work in real eastate with my mother as well, so, I in turn called up my mother in Dubai and told her.

It was absolutely tragic how it happened. Apparently, she planned to drive herself off a cliff near Las Cuevas; a beach in Trinidad. When her car got stuck and she failed at that, she walked up to a higher point and threw herself off. She failed at this too and was left severely injured. Some people in the area found her and tried to save her but she pleaded with them to leave her alone. I'm not sure what they did (I'm assuming they ignored her requests and helped anyway) but she still died in the end, because she had taken some sort of weedicide earlier as well.

What do you say to this?
I am no longer in contact with her children but I know some friends who are, and if they happen to come across this, my deepest condolences.