Sunday, 4 May 2008


Whoa. I can't sleep right. So, I woke up a couple times for the unruly buzz of my cellphone and a knock at the door, which I was so shocked by that I didn't even answer (no one in this flat knows I'm alive. Why would that happen?), but other than that, I literally slept all day. So tonight is going to be interesting. I'll tell you ALLLLL about it.

What's so funny is that the latest song stuck in my head is 'Gubbish' by Chad Vangaalen. Its lyrics go something like this. NOT ONLY that song though! 'Asleep' by The Smiths won't stop popping up when I put my iPod on Shuffle. (Okay we know that's also about suicide but DON'T think so deeply. It's about sleep too)

So I'm taking matters into my own mouth. I'm doing sleeping pills. The date will be set for tomorrow (well today, later, whatever). (Okay we know I sound suicidal and have suicidal tendencies but don't think so deeply. This is about sleep too). I will take them at 10pm and hopefully that will set things straight from there. I have not been on the right time zone since 2006. I've been up and down from Trinidad to Abu Dhabi to London to San Francisco and back, this way and that way, whichever way is cheapest; because my old friends are in Trinidad, my family is now in Abu Dhabi, my school life and flat is in London and my boyfriend (now ex) was in SF. So, it's just never stopped. It's amazing how far apart they all are too, just to stretch my fucked-up-ness even more to the limit.

Usually when I end up pulling these all-nighters I don't fall asleep til noon, and I made an appointment to get my hair dyed black later at 2pm so I'm just gonna have to Redbull it all day long. I HAVE to stay awake. "I'm never goin' to sleep, I'm never goin' to sleep, I'm never goin' to sleep..." That song is so permanently lodged up there....*sigh*

Anyway, to make matters worse, I have a choice of two new DVD's tonight that I bought yesterday because they were dirt cheap. Wait for it....'Interview with the Vampire' and 'The Science of Sleep'. HMMM. To be the living dead or to be the dead living? To be awake or asleep? My brain has hinted enough. It's time to end this Zombie Tirade.

Maybe I should've shamelessly gone to that 'Pimps and Hoes' party at Suburban that I got invited to tonight. Could've just gotten smashed so I would've knocked out conveniently at a fairly decent 3am hour? Oh well, too late. Didn't feel like wearing THOSE BOOTS anyway. But I DID shave my legs this weekend so the mini skirt would've been fun to wear. I hardly ever shave. I opt for the long pants/jeans/leggings route. And well I'm not having sex so...psh! But a couple hours ago, since I shaved, I wore shorts to go collect my pizza and the wind felt like someone was running a silk sheet against my legs...ahhhhh *falls back into a bed of roses* pure bliss. I'll shave more now. :D

So, first thing on the agenda for tonight's sleepless activity was deciding on and ordering several books to read over summer. The class I'm taking next year, Developing the Novel, requires that we read at least 10 books over the summer, not including the Creative Writing texts they asked us to look at as well. So, I made my list:

1.The Lonely Londoners -Sam Selvon (yes, this is where I got my blog title from. I think I read this book in class back in Trinidad. He is a very famous London based Trinidadian author)

2. Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams - Sylvia Plath (I love Sylvia and the title rocks. Plain and simple.)

3. Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper- Diablo Cody (all the Juno fans should know that this is the chick who wrote the screenplay for that movie and won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay, and used to be a stripper, and is gorgeous, and wears gorgeous Daphne Guinness-esque rings like this!) (I will be doing more posts on her in the future. She's my new research project.)

4. The Body: And Seven Stories - Hanif Kureishi (You knew I had to put him in. I'm also struggling through 'Intimacy' and plan to finish it tomorrow at the salon. Seriously guys, get into this guy's work.)

5. A Moveable Feast - Ernest Hemingway (Sadly, this is the first book by this reclaimed suicidal author I am reading. I think anyone who writes such a beautiful short story all in dialogue, about abortion, without even mentioning the word or scenario, deserves my readership - Hills like White Elephants)

6. The Snows of Kilimanjaro: And Other Stories - Ernest Hemingway (gotta know this guy more)

7. Another Sky: Voices of Conscience from Around the World - Hani Kunzru (I heard excerpts from this at a seminar for imprisoned writers/censorship in other countries etc. It is compiled letters from prison, and they are fantastic, and real. The seminar was put on by this group I am planning to join called PEN (Poets, Playwrights, Editors, Essayists, Novelists and their translators), and they aim to 'promote literature, defend freedom of expression, and build a world community of writers'. They're based in 104 countries but here's the wesbite I have for English PEN.)

8. On the Road - Jack Kerouac (I should've read this eons ago. But I read this book about The Beat Generation of San Francisco/New York and all those cats; Ginsberg, Burroughs, Carlos Williams and Kerouac, all the amazing fag writers, and that is one of the craziest things I have ever read, along with 'Howl'. Now I know what I'm getting into and I'm ready for their prose. I remembered about it again tonight because the girl who told me to read it, a friend from Uni, she ran off to India and came back a couple days ago. I missed her a lot. So this is for her.)

9. Naked Lunch - William S. Burroughs (I know. Don't laugh. But I'm ready now.)

10. The Book of Other People: Short Stories- edited by Zadie Smith (Smith is one of my favourite writers, having read 'White Teeth' and 'On Beauty' so...anything with her name attached to it gets me going. This is compiled short stories from UK and overseas writers, including Hari Kunzru who compiled 'Another Sky' above. I figure, if she chose them, they must be damn good. So there.)


11. The Inheritance of Loss- Kiran Desai (Because I think I've read something EPIC from that author before and it's set in the Himalayas and has lots of character Point of View stuff. I realised I like lots of Asian Conflict prose. Theyre very funny and very tragic; Amy Tan's 'The Joy Luck Club', 'Bonesetter's Daughter', Ha Jin's 'Waiting', Arthur Golden's 'Memoirs of a Geisha', Dai Sijie's 'Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress', Hidier's 'Born Confused', Gita Mehta's 'A River Sutra'...I could, and BADLY want to go on...)

ANYWAY, as a result, that's why I am looking for something more on asian culture, and something on Samurai (because I still want to study their ways and become one...yea right). I'm going to also order:

12. Saving Fish from Drowning - Amy Tan (She is an asian wordsmith goddess. I heard this one isn't like her usual Chinese mother/daughter dramas though, and is actually quite disappointing, but I'll be the judge of that)


13. The Savage Gentleman - ? (Amazon is bringing up a buncha crap for this. I think the book might be out of print, which explains why my ex has it wrapped in plastic at home (?) "Hey, Euphemism, a little help finding this book?" Wonder if he'll read this...)

14. Indestructible Wolves of the Apocalypse Junkyard - Max G. Morton (I am so pissed about this one. Jen from Gnarlitude featured it on her blog and, since I shamelessly worship her now, I thought I'd give it a go. It sounded interestingly sick and something new for the reading palate. There are only 500 copies in print and I found one yesterday on Amazon but now it's gone. Will keep checking the website, I guess...)

ANYWAY! I made up my mind to watch 'Interview with the Vampire'. I'm going for sleepless allround tonight. And my pizza's getting cold, and my drink's getting warm, and this is way too long so, Goodnight to all those who sleep!

Nevermind...everyone's up now. Campus alarm went off. MUHAHAHA!

1 comment:

monster paperbag said...

Ha Jin's Waiting is really good. I enjoyed reading it last year :).