CHICKEN POX REACTION

"Mum, what do you think will happen if I take one of my old Prozac pills?"

"Um I don't think you should do that. Why do you want to do that? Do you need to take them?"

"Do you think anything will happen? No, right?"

"Kara what's wrong?"

"Um, just the mere dilemma of whether to mess around with a pill or not. I'm fine, geez."

"Well, I say no."

MY BROTHER GOT CHICKEN POX.

"Anyway, honey, I was looking up some information on chicken pox for your brother and there was a link for depression so I checked that out as well. They say people who are depressed should stay clear of alcohol, coffee, uhh tea, um, um, even soft drinks and.."

"What are you doing? I'm happy. I'm fine. Have you taken the time yet to compare and contrast the present me with the past me? I'm fine."

"Well, if you're sure...So what are you up to?"

"Watching Prozac Nation. It's about to start back. See ya!"

"Oh Lord..."

SOMETHIN' LIKE A PHENOMENON

SHIT

I just fucking read Gnarlitude's entire archive this weekend dude. Shit. What am I gonna do tomorrow? Shit. It IS tomorrow. Shit. 5 am. The damn coffee. The damn B52's.

VIVA VIVI!

LOOK! A SLING-SHOT NECKLACE!

GOD DAMN THE B52's

I did the unthinkable; caffeine-wise. First, I had a leftover slice of pizza and a can of arabic coke for breakfast. Caffeine intake number one.

As I was getting all engrossed and shit in the Gnarlitude blog, my gnarlitude factor increased significantly and I started thrashing around my room when songs like 'Loveshack' came on on my iPod. As a result of the biker chic and glam goth fashion overload on that chick's metablog, I felt a shopping spree coming on...and a want of Starbucks.

Because it's almost impossible to get a taxi right outside our building, as its relatively new and at the very end of a very long street, I took a trek to the new Al Wahda mall a few streets away (with sand in my damn yellow flats because they decided that only some parts of the road should have sidewalks).

When I got there, I shopped. Gap. Accesorize. Some other unidentifiable Arabic teenage haunt where I somehow managed to find some tanks that I liked. You know those "teen chic" stores that play Pussycat Dolls tracks? Ya. I set foot in one of those out of desperation, thinking I should've taken a damn taxi to the further away but well worth it Abu Dhabi Mall. BUT Accessorize had these super cute jump ropes with Russian doll handles. I decided my new at-home workout routine will be consisting of jump rope and hoola hoops. So I bought a red pair of those. SO FUN! To buy shit like that. So, as I had lost the gnarlitude and had settled into furry bunny-tude I decided to throw in another headband with a dainty bow, and skipped away.

Then I sat in the vast food court with a styrofoam plate of really cheap, really great phad thai koong sod and a coke. Caffeine intake number two. The lady at the thai place was very kind as to offer me a taster of this obscure concoction I was watching behind the counter, milling in its container. Something called Nam Traklai (a Thai lemongrass cooler). Very refreshing. Quaint in taste. Didn't mean I took my mind off of the Grande Iced White Caffe Mocha I still wanted. She thanked me with a bow and hands in prayer for waiting 15 minutes for my food (I guess the Arabs don't wait).

I read some Hanif Kurieshi in a corner for a bit, while watching the Arabs in mall mode. The women sauntered leisurely in their black veils, blinged out purse and shoes intact, laiden with bags of one or more of these things, the Arab woman's essentials: La Senza lingerie, Aldo shoes, Fair & Lovely skin bleaching cream (for confidence and success, according to the TV ads), a barrage of cosmetics from every famous brand worldwide and Damas jewelry (the main jeweller for the Middle East, owned by a friend's family). They smell like perfurmeries; fucking nauseating.

I SAW TWO TEENAGED BOYS IN "BURBERRY" PRINT ROBES AND HEADWRAPS. NOOOO!!!!!

And when I could no longer read because the word 'ambition' came up on the page, which reminded me of the deadline for the Harper's Bazaar short story competition themed 'Ambition', I went downstairs to Sbucks for my iced coffee and left. Caffeine intake number 3. Outside, there was an impressive line at the mall taxi stop, which amazed me, because I walked a few paces around the corner to the taxi stop before that one and found it deserted, with a lit cab in waiting.

Maybe the waiting crowd had a hunch because my driver had me puzzling over how he managed to get his license. He spoke almost no english, which is abnormal, he had no idea of the streets I was calling and said, "You know? You know?" so I could direct him the whole way, and he made rash decisions with no indicator, leaving honking horns in his wake. Then when it was time to point out where to stop, as soon as he heard the word 'stop', he stopped, in front of a car trying to turn out of a street, so I told him to 'Go up! Move'. This time, all he heard was 'go' and sped off. So, we passed my house and I had to tell him stop and walk a bit. Somebody tell me WHAT THE HELL!?

Anyway, I'm home now, rinsed my sandy feet and need to try on my goods before 'The In-Laws' starts so I'll check you later. Sadly, I'm also about to indulge in caffeine intake number four. I'm expecting to be quivering in front of the TV at 6am later. Why am I doing this to myself?

MAHARANI LESLEY

HAHAHA Let's go to India with Lesley. She's a funny little fucker.

P.S. Maharani means queen in Hindi.

CONFETTI

Confetti is a really hilarious movie. And no, it's not the sequel to Glitter, like my brother joked. Last night I watched it while sipping on my parent's liquor cabinet. I passed out at the right time too; at the credits! Can you spell achievement like I can?

MY DAY IS MADE

Vera Sweeney at I'm Not Obsessed gave her an E for effort, but I'm not that nice. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's hot.

FIRST B-MOVIE OF THE NIGHT

It appears to be Rambo: First Blood Pt. II

Now I don't know if this is actually a B-movie, but when I say B-movies, personally, this is an example. Let's also check out its B words.

Bamboo

Bazookas

Bombs

Boa Constrictors

Biceps

asian Babes

Blood

Bad guys and,

Bad acting

YA. I'm gonna go grab a Beer.

THAT WAS FAST

Shit, I can't even see the keyboard. Hold on. I thought I could do this without the light but I'm proving myself foolishly wrong. Lemme get the light.

Good.

You know what just happened? I woke up at a very reasonable morning hour, took a shower, did laundry, ate two bran muffins that really got my stomach going with all their fibry goodness, did YOU KNOW WHAT as a result, went through my blogroll, and did a good amount of work on my college essays, while talking to my mom who was calling from some Hilton in Manchester, where she is probably sexually holed up with my dad, the pilot, for the weekend.

I was just checking my sitemeter stats, checking how many people are interested in reading my dirt, when suddenly the exotic voice of the Islamic nation on speaker came on, resonating around the city. It's evening prayer time! And sure enough, I looked up from the blue screen illuminating my face, and everything was dark! Is that how my day is supposed to end? THAT WAS BORING! I was gonna go for Starbucks and a mini shopping spree! I mean, technically, as it's Friday and the muslims just go weekend crazy, resulting in all the shops closing at 2am, I can still go, but man! It's nearly 7pm and according to me, I had just finished starting my day.

And usually at 8pm, I plant myself in front of the TV for all the ridiculously censored B-movies until midnight. LAME, LAME, LAME! No wonder I haven't heard my brother and sister all day. They actually knew what time it was! I'm the only one home. Hello?

FOR EUPHEMISM

WOW! I'm really all about my blogger peeps this week. This one's for my friend Euphemism, owner of the mind of a eu-phe-mism blog, who is stressing out about his move to L.A. from San Jose. He's moving there to officially kick off his profession as a director (CHECK OUT HIS WEBSITE SFour Productions! Please?)

So, Euphemism, sucks when you don't own a pick-up truck, don't it? But I suggest when your first movie comes out you invest in one. Hope this cheers you up a little bit and hope you know I would ship my dad's SUV over there with me in it to help you if I had the money.

I ENVY THIS WOMAN'S LIFE

[photo credit: Newsday]

I love it when bloggers are making it and getting the postivie attention they deserve. It paves the way for us down here. Congrats to my friend Vera Sweeney (who technically IS my friend because she added me on Facebook), owner of I'm Not Obsessed, the popular celebrity culture blog, for her exposure recently in Newsday and getting featured on CBS two days ago. After all this time reading her blog, I never knew what she looked like. She's gorgeous..and she's a mom! It's good to see someone hot in the news these days, who isn't a celebrity in a scandal, or a regular hot person in a scandal. Positive news. I like. Here's her interview with CBS . OOH! She's even hired some employees. PICK ME! PICK ME!...except I don't write about celebrities.

THANKS VERA! I feel more powerful about my blog now. I think it has a chance of getting some higher recognition. And hey, if it doesn't, it was fun writing the hell out of it anyway and I get a kick out of reading my old stuff and going 'I wrote that?!'

I'VE BEEN THINKING...

After all that violin talk, I think I'd like to collect violins; but really special ones. Although I personally am not a fan of the modern electrics that take away from the beautiful curvy shape of the original violin, or carve out their insides like a pumpkin at Halloween time, some I can manage to forgive. Check out these babes called Vivos. Ted Brewer is the genius I want to marry behind them. Check out the details on them on the website if you like, and listen to free samples of their sound too. THEY FUCKING GLOW, OKAY? DO. YOU.UNDERSTAND?"If you’re really looking to attract attention, you can even use these controls to illuminate your playing. The Vivo² has a built-in sound to light facility, which incorporates two vertical banks of super bright LEDs, integrated into the body of the violin. Light pulses along the length of the instrument, complimenting your playing. Of course, the lights can be turned off if not required."*sighs* I'm gonna have to leave it at that for now. I've gone and wet my pants. But I have loads more vamped up violins to show you and add to my future collection in another blog post.

HITTING ALL THE RIGHT NOTES

So, I was going through my old stuff that's made it across from Trinidad and has been stuffed into a closet in my new room here in Abu Dhabi. Among the ample supply of cut-to-shreds Ellegirl magazines, costume jewelry and the 6 given-up-on journals, I found some old violin sheet music. To be specific, I found 'Cradle Song', one of my old grade 7 exam pieces. A musical nightmare, that so happens to be one of my favourites today. It resembles the soundtrack to 'The Others'; very very eerie, and so difficult, all the copies we were handed down to learn by our teacher had the words of past students on it; things like 'God, help me' written next to the harmonics section (where you don't apply pressure to the string, but place your finger lighly on top of it and it makes a really soft, ethereal high sound, like a flute).

Sorry. Can you tell I'm getting excited over it? I'm teaching you the damn violin. Wish you could hear the piece though. I wanted to pluck through it again on my violin after all this time. And I opened my case to start on it, forgetting that my violin was damaged from my flight up here, having to face the cargo hold this time around. That got me down.

So, I'm really relieved to have designers Victor & Rolf to turn to to cheer me and my varnished wooden buddy up with their Spring 2008 collection. I know this stuff was out since last year but it means a lot to me right now. It's great to see music making a comeback, especially the violin.

I remember the horror on my face the day my grandmother handed me a battered red chinese violin in quarter size for my 5th birthday instead of the standard latest Barbie doll. Now I know after all these years, of sucking at it, being made fun of for playing one, quitting, starting up again, practising until my fingers bled (no, that is not only a cool guitarist thing), and eventually playing at public, private and presidential gigs and concerts for some serious cash, that my grandmother knew what she was doing all along. And I am super grateful.

I LOVE IT! I miss the backstage life I had in Trinidad; the smell of make-up and sizzling hair under flat-irons, shouting and running through clouds of rosin dust, into dressing rooms in tacky, pouffy customized orchestra outfits, drinking free soda and the sound of a million cranky stringed instruments getting tuned to perfection. I mean, I even got a violin tattoo on my back á la Man Ray for my 18th birthday...in case you couldn't tell how much it means to me.

INSPI(RED)

So, yeah, I watched Fifth Element last night and started thinking about redheads (orange, whatever). I had red hair once. I think it was more fun than the time I was blonde. Actually, ALL my hair colouring experiments were more fun than that one blonde moment. And those include purple, blue, jet black, pink and bright red. Fucking disaster. I was gonna make a joke pertaining to a certain 'fire crotch', but let us maintain POSITIVE red hair vibes. Or not.

BLOGGERLY LOVE

I say this all the time, but it's never enough for me. I really get excited about comments and Guerreira lurrves me and I lurrve her. Not only does she have an engrossing blog, but an amazing heart as well. She always cheers me up with her comments, as do my other readers with their comments, of course (thank you, thank you, to you all, for your kind words. Millefois Merci!).

I was feeling really down the other day, as you all would've known if you have been following my posts. I wrote one on how my blog had seemed to slowly lose its thrill/gusto/interest-factor. But Guerreira left me a really uplifting comment today in response to it, which I think is great because it can apply to all of you, be you a blogger, or a closet journal writer in the safety of your room:

"hey, don't give up...the beauty of blogs is the mix of great posts and random weird stuff, which reflects life, me thinks... "

THANK YOU HONEY! HAVE AN INTERNET HUG. ALL OF YOU, INTERNET GROUP HUG!

P.S. I like her even more now because she says 'me thinks'.

CAPTION ME

I can't imagine what was going through my head when I was caught on camera like this - back home in Trinidad visiting friends last year. Click on it for a bigger, clearer version, then leave a caption as a comment. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! It's (remotely) fun.

P.S. I miss that purple shirt though. It's my dad's.

GREAT, JUST GREAT

Found this link today on bookofjoe that certainly hasn't motivated me to anticipate my summer of magazine internship office wear: heels, pencil skirts, leggings, A.K.A. bodily entrapments and dangers. MOST IMPORTANTLY HEELS! Usually, when it comes to wearing something 'up-a-notch', I tend to take the safer fashion route; flats. I mean, I have heels and boots, but I am eternally grateful for a flats comeback...when it came back. Take a look.

THAT GIRL HIT HER HEAD ON THE RUNWAY!

THE BEST WAY TO BOOZE

Want to clean up the environment while trashing your mind? Try 360 Vodka, the first eco-friendly vodka. It was the official spirit of the Sundance Film Festival '08. They're so serious I wasn't even old enough to check out their website. Had to count back on my fingers.

"360 Vodka is crafted from a philosophy of eco-awareness. 4x Distilled and 5x Filtered for unrivaled character, it's the finest vodka Earth has to offer."

In the production of 360 Vodka's labelling, Earth Friendly Distilling Co. claims to have saved: 113 fully grown trees, 48,371 gallons of water, 5,409 lbs of solid waste, 81 million BTU of energy, 10,550 lbs of Greenhouse gases, and 9,222 Avg. driving miles of U.S. car.

There's some great vodka recipes on the website too. I liked these:

Global Warming
1 oz
360 Vodka
1 oz
Nivan (Vanilla Liqueur)
Black Coffee
Serve and garnish with whipped cream.

Whipped 360
1 shot
360 Vodka
2 shot
Apple Juice
Whipped Cream
1 dash
Cinnamon

Sin & Sour 360
1/2 oz
360 Vodka
1/2 oz
Goldschlager Cinnamon Schnapps
3/4 oz
Sweet and Sour Mix
1/4 oz
DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps

360 Pucker-up
1 part
360 Vodka
1 part
DeKuyper Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps
1 part
Apple Juice

360 Silk
1 oz
360 Vodka
1 oz
McCormick Irish Cream
1/2 oz
Green Creme de Menthe
6 oz
Milk

OH MY GOODNESS! CHECK THIS ONE OUT

Bloody 360 Mariner
2 oz
360 Vodka
4 splash
Tabasco Sauce
1 dash
Garlic Powder
1 dash
Onion Powder
1 dash
Chopped Horseradish
2 oz
Clam Juice
Tomato Juice
Combine ingredients and pour into tall glass filled with ice. Stir well and garnish with a celery stick.

LAME!

LAME LAME LAME!
I'm really disappointed in my blog posts as of late. They are absolutely mind-numbingly boring. It's so sad. What do I blog about? I'm trying so hard to keep this from becoming a full-on fashion blog. There are too many bloggers out there who specialize the fuck out of fashion. I'm getting bored. I'm nowhere in their league and that's fine. Because I want more of me and you, and the guy from Longyourbyen in my blog ; earthly phenomena, beautiful things, the dead and the living, the arts, prose and poetry, black and white photos, Wikihow's and things you didn't know existed. The truth, lies, people and places in loopy what the fuck situations. Yuh know? I thought I had it for a while; right where I wanted. But it's slowly faltering. Maybe I'm just going through a rough blogging patch.

ACTUALLY, maybe I should just shut the fuck up and keep blogging.

Ya. That's my unique way of saying I won't give up.

WISH YOU WERE HERE!

Doesn't that picture just scream that?

Not much to report because yesterday I stayed in and shovelled junk into my mouth all day. So, as a result, I locked myself out of the house today and tried to do something actively adventurous. I mean, I'm a resident of this place I don't even know anything about, except where all the Starbucks branches are. My sister curses me in arabic and runs off snickering because she knows I'm clueless.

Anyways, I found myself on a man-made island with a notebook, a pen and sand between my toes. Got a lot of writing done, as well as some studying, AND ESPECIALLY a lot of walking done, being permanently, happily lost. There were camels on the island! that we could ride, but when I got to the pen the workers were at the mosque praying because they were on break. I was in a strong writing frame of mind anyways so I sat myself near the pristine blue water's edge, watching the city amidst a cloud of fog on the other side of the water, and dished out some words.

It was the weirdest thing. Every now and then a part of the water would start to bubble and splash, as if the Loch Ness was about to surface, and flocks of birds would come rushing at the spot and scoop up fat fish. And then all was quiet again. And once, when I looked up, I could see absolutely nothing to the right and left of me; no more thatched umbrellas with disgustingly red-faced tourists underneath, no sandy shore, no palm trees. A strange fog had approached us. It soon dispersed, after like, an hour. Creepy as fuck. I nearly didn't see the bus coming towards me at the stop.

But it was such a great day, minus the jacked up tourist trinkets this arab woman at Heritage Village was trying to sell me and a throng of excited Europeans handing over their cash.

JUST BECAUSE

I had a great (fashion) day yesterday so I thought it would be a waste not to post this, even though there's nothing to really say about it. I just love my new Forever 21 scarf (have been harbouring a scarf fetish since 2005) and owl necklace. Had a silver owl necklace from them WAYYY BACK but I guess I got really drunk one night and it wasn't in my jewelry box anymore. Plus, I'm adorable in this picture. And I NEVER think I'm adorable. So show me some LURVE.

HAPPY (HEALTHY) EASTER!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

So, I don't really do the whole chocolate thing anymore for Easter; well, period. But my favourite new Raw Food Coach Karen Knowler dug up this Raw Chocolate Easter Eggs recipe. I get one awesome raw recipe a week, among other cool raw tips, advice and inspiration by signing up for her free weekly newsletter. She's amazing...and such an inspiration. And this coming from a severely depressed person. Even if you're not into becoming raw (which I am but I can't because I would miss seafood too much), there's no pressure. She's just trying to make us all healthier, more body-aware people. It's great to see that there are ways to cheat the junk food habit, like with these raw chocolate eggs. It's just about living a healthier life. Check her our sometime. Couldn't hurt to click. I've also got an ad up for her in the right column.

Raw Chocolate Easter Eggs
This week's recipe comes courtesy of Russell James, one of my favourite raw food chefs and also our in-house chef on my Raw Coach Trainings. This truly delicious Easter egg recipe makes 3+ good size eggs with chocolate left over for making whatever you desire (see end for Russell's tip on this).

Ingredients:

* 2 cups cashew butter (1 16oz jar)

* 2 cups cacao powder or if no cacao powder available, use 1cup milled cacao nibs + 1cup carob powder

* 2 cups grated cacao butter

* 2 Tablespoons vanilla extract or the inside of 2 whole vanilla pods 1cup agave nectar

Directions

1. Put the grated cacao butter in a bowl and place in a dehydrator at 115 degrees F. The idea is to turn the butter into liquid for use later on in the recipe. You can also achieve this by placing the bowl in a sink of hot water.

2. In a food processor mix the cashew butter and cacao powder (or cacao and carob, if using) thoroughly. This will be easier if the cashew butter is at room temperature.

3. Transfer this mixture to a large bowl and add vanilla extract (or pods) and agave. Mix in by hand.

4. When cacao butter has liquidised, pour into chocolate mixture and mix again by hand.

5. Use a spoon to spread chocolate into egg moulds (I got my egg moulds from Lakeland). If you're using cacao nibs and carob you may find that mixture is a little to dry and stiff to work with so you can cover and put into the dehydrator for about half an hour to loosen it up. Be sure to save some chocolate mixture to seal the 2 halves of the egg together.

6. Put egg moulds in freezer until chocolate has set. This could also be done in the fridge if you're not in a hurry. Eggs should now easily pop out of the mould.

7. Use your fingers to apply the chocolate you saved to the edges of one of the egg halves. This doesn't have to be perfect and you can be quite liberal with it as you're going to wipe off any excess.

8. Push the 2 halves together and use your finger to finish off the seal and get a smooth join. Egg can then be put in the fridge.9. Eat while weeping with joy (Karen's words, not mine! :-))

RAW COACH'S TOP TIP:* Russell recommends making chunks of of 'fruit and nut' from the leftover chocolate mix. This can be achieved by adding raisins and pieces of your favorite crushed nuts to the left over mixture and putting into ice cube trays.

© Karen Knowler, The Raw Food Coach 2008, www.TheRawFoodCoach.com

FOR MA LADIES!

Gala Darling swears by her. So do I. Natural Beauty starts with Karen Knowler. Get to know her. Seek and you shall find...

PRISTINE

That's my word for the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Pristine. And precise. And a paragon of mastery in the art of sforzandos, crescendos and decrescendos. Firstly, our VIP seats were dead smack in the centre of the auditorium, in line with the conductor's ass. BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE; and not cuz of his ass. We had the orchestra fanned out around us, illuminated under the Gulf's golden eagle.

There were Mexican Waves of violin bows, upping and downing. They beckoned to the violas and the violas sang back. The cellos hollered in response to double bass groans. AND THE DOUBLE BASSES. I mean, all I could see were their heads; but WHAT MAGNIFICENT HEADS. Like the front masts of Viking ships. And the spouts of the trumpets and trombones, so brightly yellow in the stage lights they looked like sunflowers. REALLY, they did!

Oh, man. Tonight, a bunch of old people cradling some pieces of wood, string and brass just BLEW ME THE FUCK AWAY! In the last piece, which was probably 20 minutes long, where my bladder threatened to self destruct, the conductor threw the most beautiful tantrum I'd ever seen in my life; his only weapon, a stick.

This performance. Tchaikovsky (my past life's only screw probably). This....THING was the soundtrack to my suicide drama. The only thing missing was the silver screen.

And just one last thought on the night. Nikolaj Znaider, the featured violinist, he got me good. He got me so good with his vibrato and his sweating earnest brow at the mercy of his heavily varnished violin, I wanted to rip off my clothes and roll around in anguish in the red-carpeted aisles.

Here's what I wore. Couldn't NOT share that with you guys. Also, some pictures of the Palace and the one shot I managed to blurrily get of the Orchestra before the ushers started coming at me.